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Details for the script:

The main characters name is Ace Ventura. He is wearing a tutu. Ace acts crazy. The way he walks. How he talks. His hair is styelish. He has a fake sister. He is obsessed with football.

Details added in direction:

Ace goes to Shady Acres. Ace's tutu is pink. He is wearing a dotted shirt. He has brown hiking boots on. He is wearing a silver watch. He has plad shorts. Ace gets the old people to dance. He pretends he is playing football the whole time.

The Seasons

WINTER

Snow, on my cold face.
Melting as steam goes up.
Aaahh, winter, is great.

FALL

Hunting, deer and grouse.
Be still or they will see you.
Bang, food on my plate.

SUMMER

Cool cool breeze feels good.
Melting ice cream, kids swimming.
Here and gone, miss it.

Ace Ventura Holiday!

My new holiday would have to be Ace Ventura Day! The date i would be on is Aug 17. Everyone dresses up like Ace and acts like him for the whole day. The normal Ace Ventura apperal consists of: engineer boots, stripped pants, a wife beater, and a hawaiian shirt. One thing that is celebrated on this holiday is all the animals in this world. If u didnt know Ace is obsessed with all animails. One tradition is to give all of your pets a day at the spa. You send them there so they feel good about themselves. Decorations include pictures of animaila and Ace every where. Some people put up christmas ligths and stuffed animals all over. If your not an animal love thats ok, you can still dress up. I mean come on, who doesnt want to be like Ace. If you like animail in a different way, like hunting, thats fine too. Every one is entitled to celebrate this important holiday in their own special way. If you dont really know who Ace Ventura is I suggest you watch the movies Ace Ventura pet detective and when nature calls. Everyone should celebrate this vital holiday!!!

Brog

Scientist discovered a new animal! They named it Brog. Its scientific name is Hyla Anas. It's half duck and half frog. Brog has emerald green eyes and waterproof feathers. It lives in the mud at the lake. It burrows down in it just like a normal frog would do. During the winters it migrates south, to the sunbelt. It eats anything on the bottom of the lake. It also has a long stretchy tounge to catch flies out of the air and to grab minnows underwater and drag them into its mouth. It can make two different sounds. One like a duck for mating. The other is like a frog for just anytime it wants to here itself make noise. You can now buy them in pet stores nationwide! So get to it! You know you want one. Who wouldn't?

Angel Wings

Angel Wings

Yes folks, they are now avaliable! Angel wings are the transportation of the future. Get places quickly and effeciently without paying a cent. Top recorded speed of these babies is 150 mph (do not attempt). The wing span is 14 feet and they weigh approximitly twenty pounds; depending on the user height and weight.

Top 11 reasons you (and everyone you know) NEED angel wings:

1. Inexpensive
2. Effecient
3. Comes in pink or white.
4. Safe
5. Reliable
6. Money Saver!!
7. So easy a CAVE MAN can use it.
8. No licesense/permits required for usage
9. Low maintenece
10. High Quality
11. And Chuck Norris uses it, I mean if Chuck Norris has it you have to have it. If Chuck Norris has it you know it kicks ass!

(I'm Chuck Norris and I approve this message.)

Only twenty easy payments of $99.95 plus shippping and handling. With a price like that no one can resist! People in debit (can and will) buy this product! It will make your life easy. No expensive gas prices. No repairs. Just easy transportation. But wait theres more! If you order within the next 15 minutes you will get an extra set free! I just cant believe it, we are handing out one extra pair for free! (YOU WILL BUY THIS PRODUCT OR I WILL SICK CHUCK NORRIS ON YOU. TRUST ME YOU DON'T WANT THAT TO HAPPEN!!!!)
Must be 18 years of age or older to order. Batteries not included.

MADE IN CHINA (Oh, God.)

(Caution; this product contains lead, small parts, and fast moving objects, may be hazardous to small children.)

#3

Looking at this picture makes me hungry. It reminds me of a resturant I used to go to.It was called Poncho and Lefty's. It was one of my favorite resturants ever. I love mexican food!! Basically, i love anything that is hot or spicy. MMmhhh. This is the perfect plate of nachos. Look at the mountains of cheese with spicy jalepeno pepers sinking in. Imagine taking a bite of this scrumptious appetizer. Biting the chip with a loud "chrunch". The cheese melting in your mouth. Jalepeno, like eating a little ball of fire. The cold crisp lettuce and sour cream soothing your mouth like a blast of cold mountain air. The bitter taste of green peppers hits your tounge like a baseball player on steriods. YUCK!!!!!! That is so gross. I'm not hungry anymore.

#2

http://http://www.talk-sports.net/nfl/sucks.aspx/Tarvaris_Jackson

I'm Tarvaris Jackson and i play for the MN vikings. A lot of the mn vikings fans think i suck as u can see on the website posted. I try to keep my head up cuz i get a lot of negative comments. Its hard to play for a state and team that doesnt really want me there. I can also say i havent been doing my best this season. I need to step it up.I have to do good this coming game against carolina, otherwise i fear i will loose my career or my starting position with the vikings. There are a lot of comments that really dicourage me. Like, "-2 the jackson saga continues,ok coach when do you say enough is enough? you better make your change soon or you will be on the outside looking in with your failed qb. " All everyone does is critizize. There is like one positive comment for every 5 negatives. Wow, i am looking at my stats online right now and i just realized something. I really suck. I never knew I sucked that bad. Geez the vikings just suck in general. Look at the guy tackling me in the picture. I know who that is Brian Urlacher, man he has really got it going good for him. Why cant I be more like him?

# 1!!!!

Peers

This is the ugliest dog in the world! It won the 2008 worlds ugliest dog competition. My dads friend actually knows who owns this dog. I'm not sure what else to say cuz the picture pretty much says it all!

Harry Potter Fanatics

I think that if they come out with another harry potter, that this dog should be a character in one of the movies. He should be like Voldemort's talking dog. The dog could do like all of his dirty work. I just think it would be hilarious.