Personal Narrative Grade

I feel that on my personal narrative, I should receive no less than a B. I took in your suggestions on at the beginning of scenes be more descriptive, and expand the ending more. That was also what was said on my peer review so I tried to change what was suggested. Overall I think its the best paper I have written so far in this class.

He talks about his yellow teeth, his hair was dusty, but when he looke at his mouth he saw pink. Also the same about his workers.

They yellow teeth show the type people he was working with.
The dusty workers showing how hard the work is and pink mouths just showing how dirty they really get.